About Me

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Jacksonville, Florida, United States
I am a smart mouthed, tell it like it is southern chick. I love and hurt like everyone else. Take me as I am or get on outta here! I have two wonderful children, One large man child husband, and two furbabies. I'm existing, hopefully soon to be living once the brain tumor I have is removed. Anything you want to know, e-mail me!

Friday, October 14, 2011

The End...

Well folks, I am afraid this will be my last post of this blog. This is also going to be a very long post, so be ready to read, and be ready for tears.

I began having some pretty bad cramping/pinching/tearing pain on Friday night the 7th and I thought it was just gas as it seemed pretty familiar to me. I slept that night and got up and drove to Panama City for my Brothers wedding. Saturday night was full of some pretty intense pain, I cried but slept it off and resorted to go to the hospital if I still felt bad when I got home. Well, we got home and I wasn't in that much pain, it was bearable, so I didn't go to the hospital. I thought I had a urinary tract infection.
Anyway, I woke up in excruciating pain so I got the kids off to school and went to the e.r. After tons of poking and prodding, blood work and urine, they came back with a dx of a UTI. But because of the baby and the fact that I had pain in my right lower quadrant, appendicitis was possible, so they kept me for observation. They also informed me that my white blood cell count was elevated, which was another reason for my admission.

The next morning I was approached by my PCP and a surgeon and the on call OB, who all together decided I more than likely had an inguinal hernia with my intestines protruding through my abdominal wall, so they needed to do an immediate repair via laproscopy. Anyway, I signed consent and went on my way, but in the mean time just before surgery the pain got completely unbearable and I was doubled over in harsh pain.

They took me back and I went out thinking I was gonna wake up with a repaired hernia and my appendix gone. Well, I didn't. I woke up in worse pain than when I went under and it hurt in places it wasn't supposed to hurt.

After an hour in recovery they took me to the pediatrics ward (so I could have a private room) and got me set up in there. A few minutes later Thomas walks in with the kids and has this sullen look on his face as though something horrid had happened. He told the kids to be quiet, that I didn't know yet. He had also informed everyone around (all nurses and doctors) not to say anything to me about what happened.
So he walks over and sits down next to me and starts crying and shaking, grabs my hand (and this is NOT his personality type at all) and finally tells me...."They didn't take your appendix and you didn't have a hernia. The pain you felt was your uterus rupturing and the baby didn't make it..."
He says he will never forget the look on my face. I'll never forget the words he said or how I felt. All of my dreams, and I do mean that literally, ALL of my dreams just fell out from under me. Thomas then told me it was worse than that...I'd lost about 800 cc's of blood, which is one of about 4 liters the body holds on a normal basis. I had 5 bags of blood transfused. I was told by the surgeon who did the operation that 400 cc's was in the uterus and the other 400 cc's I lost after my uterus was removed. My surgeon also said that baby only died because the placenta detached from my uterus once it was removed. The placenta and baby were fine before the removal of my uterus. And the OB also said I had placenta accreta, which is where the placenta grows into the uterine wall and into the abdominal wall as well. If the baby was 8 weeks older, it could have survived.
He came in yesterday and spoke to me and began crying while telling me that god guided his hands Tuesday during my surgery. He's not sure how he kept me alive, but he is thankful he did and so am I. I have 3 holes, 2 in my right side on both upper and lower sides and my belly button. They are all three stitched up. They also re-opened my c-section scar, rather forcefully if I might add. I am bruised from hell and back. They also exhausted every vein they were legally allowed to use for medications and I have multiple blown veins and bruised spots on my hands and arms. I also managed to get thrush from the antibiotics they gave me via IV in the hospital. I came home today with 7 medications. Thrush liquid, yeast medication, pain killers, anti depressant, anti anxiety, sleep med and nausea medicine. The Pharmacy got good money out of us today.

This years trials and tribulations have been something else. I've got to eventually turn into a rock after all that I've been through.

We had to put Rascal down, whom we all adored because Tom and Liz were worried about his affect on the pregnancy, which there wasn't one, then a week later my Mom passes away, but not in a good way. See previous posts. Now this week, I almost die, and a little soul went to heaven that never saw earth. The baby was a boy (which I knew in my heart all along) named after his daddy, so Thomas Jr. He is with god today.

While I know none of this is my fault, I can't help but feel like a complete and total failure. I nearly lost my life and someone else did lose theirs. My IP's will never know Thomas Jr. other than in their hearts and dreams, and while that's nice, it's just not fair. My plans and dreams of making a baby for another couple and handing that baby over to them and to see the love and joy I could give them was a goal I set out to do in life. It will never happen. I also planned to have my tubal reversed and have a child with Thomas and name him or her for my mother. I can no longer do that with no uterus unless I get a surrogate. I suppose if we ever won the lottery I'd surely do it, but I'm not going to hold my breath. We were also going to move to Iowa. Now that will not happen. I know everything happens for a reason, I say that all the time. I guess in time I will eventually find out why this happened. I am scared to death that I've let Thomas down as I know how bad he wanted a child of his own. He has been assuring me that Evey and Jeremy are plenty for him and he loves them as his own. I just feel like a let down to so many people. The hospital staff and doctors said I would be depressed from this and my case is exacerbated by the fact that my mom just died a month ago.

Now is the time to focus on me and getting me better. I'm going to get healed and lose some weight and try to get a breast reduction on Thomas' insurance while I can so I can go back to being my little self again and not worry about my boobs growing anymore. I am trying to look forward to little things like no more bleeding once a month, no more cramps....that sort of thing. I still can't help but feel like I'm less of a woman because I can no longer make children. I know this happens to women all the time and it's normal, it's just something that I treasured was my uterus. I guess it is what it is, and there is nothing to do but accept it. I am going to be grieving for several things for a long time. Grieving for my mom, my uterus and my dreams.

In the end, I am going to make the most of the situation I was given and try to go forward with my head held high. I have my life, my wonderful husband, and my wonderful children. I am blessed and that's what matters. I say this now, and I know there will be times when I cry and feel down, but that's expected.

So that's how my surrogacy journey ends. I may one day begin another blog that may chronicle something interesting, maybe. Until then, I plan to keep up with all of my surrogate friends I've made along the way. I am also going to try and spread the word on the condition I had and remind women to never ignore their bodies, if they are in pain, go get seen. I'm not sure that anything would have been different had I been seen 2 days earlier, but I know that I should not have waited and will never do so again. I also want to stress to fellow surrogates that ANYTHING can happen to anyone at anytime. It doesn't matter who you are.  Mine was primarily caused from the scar tissue from my first c-section, which was 10 1/2 years ago.

You just never know.
Take care and thank you all for reading. It was a pleasure writing for you.

Monday, October 3, 2011

I'm leaving shortly for my prenatal blood work and urine screen that I didn't do last month. I misplaced the form and forgot about it.

Still taking things day by day, but being busy and spending more time with my kiddos seems to help me get through. I got a TON of exercise yesterday. Walked a mile w/ our new Dane- Jasmine (see pic), walked the flea market for 2 hours (about 2 miles) and grocery shopped for 1 1/2 hours (30 mins in line, ugh). We also took Jasmine to the dog park, which wasn't a ton of walking, but I did have to caution all the dogs from jumping on my belly.

Anyway I mention Jasmine in the above paragraph. Here she is...

Now it's just hurry up and wait for this baby to get here so we can get our big changes on the way. I am so ready to be out of Florida!

I am still having headaches, but they have calmed down a little bit, but I have other symptoms now. Chapped lips, sneezing 12-15 times a day and itchy throaty type cough.

Blah. Anyways, time to get in gear fro my brothers wedding this weekend. I'm not looking forward to driving to Panama City, but at least it's only a couple hours away. I know this wedding is going to be beautiful, but I feel like something is missing. My Mom was so excited about this and just wanted to make it long enough to see him get married. I guess she will either way, but it's still hard to think about this event being her goal and she didn't make it. It's disappointing.

Until next time...

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Everything Happens for A Reason..

I do my best to think like this all the time, and preach it when I'm giving advice. I live by it and refer to it. I believe in. It wasn't until I was laying in bed this morning thinking deeply about the upcoming holidays that it occurred to me, just how true this saying really, truly, is. I had bought a car last year and had issues with the car company, got behind on my payments yada yada. It took them forever to find the car and it was the week before we were to leave for Jacksonville to go visit Thomas' Mom for Christmas, that they finally did. I was tee totally pissed that they took the car (obviously) but I knew they were going to to eventually get it back, it was just the way they did it was completely illegal. Anyway, besides that point, we wound up not being able to go to Jacksonville. Had that not happened, I would not have gotten to spend last Christmas with my Mom, which was her last Christmas. I didn't know it was going to be here last Christmas at the time. The point is, that repo happened when it happened to keep us from leaving town for Christmas. It was God's way of telling me I needed to be here. It happened, for a reason. A good reason.
I know when we go through things in life, we whine and moan and groan about the bad things, but it seems that it's all a plan set up for us. Not necessarily a plan we all may like at the time of the events, but they are all happening for some reason, something coming up and we just don't know what that is or why it's happening. There are still a lot of things I look up to him and ask "why" about. A few particular things come to mind and I fathom them, and think of why they happened, and a few things, I can't gather the reasoning. Then I realize that I'm still here, still walking, still have food to eat, running water, clean clothes, warm bed, roof over my head and kids heads and electricity and try to not to let it get any further than that first why.
There was this one time when I was young and naive, I saw people driving slow in the rain and being what seemed to me at the time, overly cautious. I found out that next year by hitting an oil slick on the road and spinning around 3 times on the interstate in rush hour traffic and nearly going 500 feet into a deep fall that, the people going slow were trying to prevent what I just did. I got my answer to my "why".

Be careful what you ask "why" about. You just might get the answer.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Decisions, Decisions...

As mom has been sick over the years, I've wanted to do many things that I didn't because I needed to be near here as the time of her death was approaching, though we didn't know when. Now that it has come, it is time for me to move on with my life. My Dad and sister are getting a place where they can live together, and my Dad will be travelling between Florida, Georgia and probably Iowa. I've always wanted to move back to Iowa. I enjoyed living there during my divorce, with the exception of it being a small place and the man I wanted was in Florida. Well, that man, now my husband of 2 1/2 years, has decided to once again, let me live a dream. He has supported me fully in my wishes of surrogacy, to which I am slightly over 3 months pregnant after a year of attempts. Now, I want to move back to the place of wonderful (and scary) child hood memories of my Mom and happiness where it was. I have always been fond of having four seasons. Here is south Florida you have hot, hotter, holy shit my eyes will bug out from the heat and eh, it's kinda nice out. Up there you have Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. I miss the white Chirstmas' and small town traditions I was brought up with. The education system is better up there, WAY better and you actually have to learn to drive in the snow, so when it rains, that's a piece of cake. There are so many advantages of this decision, I can't stop thinking about and I can't wait to pop this baby out, take my saved money from the surrogacy, my taxes and get the hell out of Florida.

LOL Ok, on the surrogacy front, all is well. Major heartburn and still with the headaches. I have an OB appointment on the 4th. I will update then...

Thanks for reading!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Closure, Confusion and Pain

I wasn't really sure what to title this post...I just know I have a lot of feelings I am completely unsure of at the moment and some I am very sure of, but don't know or really want to express.

The funeral, done solely by my Sister, turned out great. I was expecting maybe 10 people total, and 25 showed up. Family I hadn't seen in 10 years and some I hadn't seen in 5 years or so because of other circumstances. My sister began the eulogy and I spoke next, I remember my favorite second cousin speaking, my soon to be sister in law, even my Mother in law who barely knew my Mother spoke. My Fathers portion was smaller than I expected, but very heartfelt nonetheless. Thomas and I were expecting him to have another episode, but he barely shed any tears, so I think he is going to be ok. My daughter spoke and we all left her carnations on the plot where she was buried. The headstone is not yet finished, but we still felt as though it was right to do what we did. My aunt started talking about it today and I had to cut her off, because I started crying. I feel like if I don't talk about it, or think about it, I will be ok. I did go see a grief counselor through hospice on Thursday and it seemed as though that helped. I had a fully dry day Friday of no crying. The first since she passed.

I do feel as though in her own way, she is still with us. She blew a cool breeze on us during the service, and today, my aunt, Thomas, the kids and I would have lost our lives on the highway if not for Thomas' instinct.

I miss her dearly, and I keep picturing her on that last day of her life, so happy. I see her sitting in her chair, with her puppy and talking to me. I'm thankful that I have the images of her happy while she was alive. But the images of her death still haunt me. I can only chalk that up to the fact that I was so close to her.

Mom, if you're listening, I love you. I hope you're happy wherever you are. Please don't ever forget us.

The funeral gave me and my Father, I'm sure, the closure needed to move on. I will find out just how much it has helped or not helped tonight, when I sleep in my own bed, in the house my Mother once lived in when I cared for her. I walk into the house and feel that pang of pain when I see where she sat, and sleep in the room where she slept. Is that odd? I don't know.

There are many more feelings I have, but at this time, I just can't put them to words in a blog. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe once they are all sorted? We'll see.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

9/11 and the baby..

It's the 10th anniversary of that tragic day 10 years ago and there have been t.v. programs showing all the footage all over again and memorials galore. While I'm not complaining, I did see a post made on Cafe mom about how we should be thinking about this every year and not on landmark anniversary's. I then replied to her about how most birthday's get celebrated, but it's the landmark one's that we really make more of and this is no different, just not a celebration, but a remembrance of a significant time in our history. I'm sure when MLK and Lincoln both died the major 10 year anniversary was brought to life on those days. That's just how we do things.
Anyway, enough of that.

Ok, onto the baby. I have my Nuchal Scan done on the 20th. But my last ultrasound in the Doctors office did show placenta previa and I am on light duty, but not bed rest. Thank god. I was told no sex and no lifting anything until they are sure it's gonna clear up, which 95% of cases do. It probably won't be until later in the pregnancy that it does. So we'll wait and see. Baby had a good strong hb and looked beautiful. Here are pics., they are a bit blurry, cell phone pics.

Anyway, I'm done venting and relaying news. The only other thing is Saturday we are finally going to lay mom to rest in Evergreen Cemetery in Jacksonville. Not sure what time, but it will be nice to have closure on the entire thing and maybe move on.

Thanks for reading everyone.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The End..

In continuance of the last blog, we took mom off life support and the dopamine that was holding her blood pressure up on Thursday evening at 8:35. She stayed stable throughout the night and they moved her to a private room on a different wing. When we saw her the next day, she was squinting and grabbing at the right side of her chest and was yellow. Just horribly jaundiced. Her liver was claerly shutting down. Anyway, around 3 p.m. she was transported to a hospice home close to our houses and we went and said good bye to her, again. Everyone left around 6 p.m. and did other things to occupy our time. I have been so grief stricken I had my PCP, who also treated my Mother, call me in something for anxiety. Thank god for that, or I never would have went to sleep.

My sister came in at 6 a.m. this morning as the hospice home couldn't get ahold of Dad, so they called her and she told me mom had just passed. It's a blow to the mind to hear you no longer have a mother. So, she died at 5:50 a.m. on September 3rd, 2011. We don't know why or how she held on so long after coming off of life support. My thoughts are simply that she wanted that constant morphine a few times before she let go. That's how she always was, in pain needing medications.

We always thought that since she had defied medical science time and time again for 10 years that maybe this was another one of those times. Well, it wasn't. God called for her and now she is with him, and her older brother and mother who've been waiting for her up there.

I'm not gonna lie and say this is easy, as I've been crying for days and days, and still this morning and as I type this. We've decided to have her autopsied to cover every base for when we go after that dialysis clinic.

This is the hardest thing I hope I ever have to endure in my life. Losing a parent is not easy. My poor Father...they would be celebrating their 31st wedding anniversary in Dec.

How is Thanksgiving going to work? Christmas? Without my mom...my best friend.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Not so good news...

You know being pregnant is hard enough, but to have a family member on life support does not make matters any easier.

I got a text from my father this morning that he was on his way to the county hospital while EMT's transported my mother from dialysis. They wouldn't tell him why. He finally found out after a nurse took him to the family waiting room and sat him down and explained the situation.
I didn't know the entire story until later in the day, but here it is.

My mom goes to dialysis every mon/wed/fri every week. Well she was at her normal dialysis appt. and they hooked her up to her machine and left her there...checked on her TWO AND A HALF HOURS later, to find her with no pulse and no heart beat. Now, keep in mind she has a DNR on file. So, not only do have the screwed up by waiting so long to check on her, but then they administer CPR!!!! They can't get her back so they call EMT and they shock her and get a hb, then lose it. So they put her on a ventilator and take her to Manatee Co. hospital.

My dad is there waiting for us and goes into shock, and passes out and I find him, eyes open and red, drooling uncontrolably and unable to move his arms or legs. They have to then put him on gurney and take him to a room. So then I've got both parents in the E.R.

As of right now, my dad is fine at home. My brother will be here momentarily from Georgia, and we are then going up to the hospital. We plan to remove her from the ventilator tomorrow and pray she makes it. The chances are very small, if any that she will. All we have is hope that god will take her peacefully when the time is right. We are prepared to let her be in peace.

I will update after something has happened.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

2nd u/s...

Well the baby is still on board w/ a good heartbeat of 178 bpm and little flailing arm buds. It was a good experience. I do have a blood clot in my uterus, so I was told the bleeding episodes I've had and may have more of, are contributed to that.

My clinic called this morning and told me to get blood work on the 6th to check progesterone and estrogen levels so they can start weening me off the medications. I am really excited about that since I am getting headaches so much. The clinic assured me that having them is normal because my placenta is kicking in and my body is in overdrive with the hormones and headaches are the most common complaint.

There isn't much more to talk about at this time, today has been a little rough for a few reasons and I'm just trying to get through. More in a few days.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Non Surrogacy Related- Thinking this morning...

I get up every morning around 5:20-ish to take my husband to work and after I drop him off, I turn up the radio to keep me awake on my drive home. Usually it's the same songs in the morning, but I'm guessing the radio station decided to change things up this morning. I heard the song below and just started crying. Now, like most songs on country music stations, I know damn near the entire song (this one I do know all of) so it wasn't a shocking song, but of the million times I've heard it, today it made me cry...

                                          You're gonna miss this- Trace Adkins

In light of the fact that my daughter is in 5th grade this is a big deal to me. I know a lot of you are like "so, it's only 5th grade?" but to me, it's like I gave birth to her yesterday. She's still a newborn in her car seat on the way home from the hospital. This song takes me back to my child hood...I lost a lot of my child hood to my parents being sick off an on and working all the time...life has no been easy. I had to be a grown up at 16 and teach myself to cook and take care of my parents and siblings. I do miss being a kid...no worries other than not wanting to go to bed or if I had my homework done...was I going to miss my t.v. show? Those types of things are the things we hate as kids, but as adults we want those to be our only problems again. As adults we have mortgages/rent, water/electric, food, car payments, insurance etc. The biggest thing is stress. Our children are our blessings in every possible way, even if they are the inducers of the stress at times.

Another thing that plagues me when I see this video, and this has to be the hardest of all, is my kids biological father. Any father that never sees his kids and doesn't seem to care, for that matter. How can they do that? How can they just go on their merry way without a thought or care? I'm not saying my kids bio-dad doesn't care, he doesn't show it very well if he does, it's just being so far away and never calling to see how they are and only speaking to them via facebook chat is not very "fatherly" to me. How can he stand the thought that he is going to miss all these precious moments in their lives?

I don't get it, I don't know.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Morning sickness and bleeding...

So, the lovely ladies on my surrogacy board have once again been a WONDERFUL source of support throughout this scary time I'm having so far with this pregnancy. I am hoping the bleeding so early on is not a precursor to the rest of my pregnancy.

On that note, I've had three bleeding episodes. All minor in nature, not anything really to write home about, slight bleeding, a clot and then nothing. The episodes last for roughly 8-12 hours at a time. I'm kind of tired of being freaked out about the whole thing, I hope they just stop...it would be nice to have one less worry. I always e-mail my Nurse Coordinator and it's usually the same thing...two extra capsules vaginally and bed rest. This last time there was a little cramping involved and I was put on 48 hours bed rest. Needless to say that sucks horribly. I have a hard time with it.

A few other pregnancy symptoms have popped up...excessive (nearly hourly) runs to the toilet to pee. I mean PEE. A lot. Geesh. Then today, this evening, the "morning sickness" I was hoping to avoid, reared upon me. I've not yet relived my dinner, but it sure feels like I'm gonna. Ick. Also, gas. My husband swears I could fuel a rocket ship to the moon, and he's pretty vocal about his belief. I've also picked up some wicked heartburn. That is never fun.

Other than that, I'm just peachy keen. We've got a couple of good things going on in our personal life right now that I am really hoping work out. My Mom decided to go against the cancer treatment and live out her days happy and only doing what's necessary to stay alive in the moment, which is dialysis. I was upset at first, but she's been suffering with pain and bodily function problems for so long that she is just miserable and ready to go. None of us are going to aid her in her going, but we've decided to let her make her own decisions and when the time comes, she will go peacefully and regret free. That's all we can hope for, and we do, sincerely hope that she will be happier and at peace in her final resting place. It's taken me a few days to come to grips with this as I've always been close to my mom, but she is not really my mom 95% of the time. She's either talking about how she wants to die or she is drugged up on painkillers and downers to relieve the pain and anxiety she suffers with. I just want her happy, and if that means letting go, then I will. I already have a song in mind to listen to and play the day of her funeral. In fact, get tissues and listen to it..I will post it below.

Thanks for watching (if you did). If you cried, I'm sorry. But, I'm sure you can imagine why this would be the song I chose...

Thanks for reading...

Monday, August 8, 2011

6 week ultrasound...

Well there it is. One good, healthy baby with a heartbeat of 125 bpm. My IM jumped up and down in the room when she saw the heartbeat, then again when the Doctor could only find one baby in there LOL!

If I could have, I would have joined right along with her, but with IF in the room and me with no pants on, that wasn't an option.

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad there is only one baby in there. Twins would have wreaked havoc on my body and my family. One I can handle. That's all I am looking to handle. Thank the lord. Now lets hope this baby grows to term with no problems arising in my body or his/hers.

On another note, my IM's son from her previous husband is in the hospital with Afib (Atrial Fibrillation) and needs prayers. He is stable, but it is a heart condition and it is still scary for everyone.

Please, if you get a moment, say a prayer for him. Thank you.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

To all my AAS friends...

This shout goes out to a lot of wonderful ladies whom, without them, I would be a nervous wreck and impossible to get along with.

To name a Few:


Thank you all so much for being especially supportive when I've needed it most so far. I hope I've been somewhat as close to helping you (or will in the future) as you have helped ease my mind and send out prayers on so many issues and subjects.

I will be forever in your debt, and you will be forever in my heart as a friend whom I hope to meet in person in real life.

AAS is a wonderful place and I feel so blessed to be a part of it.

This is just to say "Thank You" so..

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Routines, weight loss...and questions....

So, I am guessing because my metabloism has increased with being pregnant that I must not be consuming the correct amount of calories, as In about 3 weeks I've lost 6+ pounds. It's not that I'm trying to do so, but I'm just not that hungry to begin with, or it's that I get full easy. Before this I trained my body to only consume certain amounts of food, and certain types. I barely ate carbs, basically sticking just to lean, grilled or broiled meats and stacking up on vegetables, and trying to maintain reasonable portion sizes. It worked for me. Now that I'm pregnant, I seem not to want much of any kind of meat (get your head out of the gutter if it's in there) and I am loving the vegetables even more. Those and AppleJacks cereal. OMG...yum. So...do I just let this ride or do I attempt to stretch my stomach to take in more food? And try to eat more carbs in the process...??

The routine of things is finally starting to kick in to where I no longer need to look at my calendar to see what meds I need to take when. I finally have it down without looking, as I need to since I'm going to be doing this for the next 6 weeks.

5 a.m.
2 Estrace pills- orally
2 Progesterone Capsules- Vaginally

8 a.m.
1 cc Shot of PIO
1 prenatal vitamin
1 81mg Aspirin

10 p.m.
2 Estrace pills- orally
2 Progesterone Capsules- Vaginally


It's good to have it down to the exact hour, that way I am getting the meds the same time every day. Also, by taking the Estrace so late at night, I don't wake up with hot flashes as I did before taking it a 7 p.m. Those things SUCK!

Another thing that happened over this past week was my Mom getting diagnosed with lung cancer. She goes in Monday (tomorrow) for a PET Scan to determine if it has spread anywhere else, what type of radiation and how many days a week she will need it.
I have taken the week to think about this and let it sink in, and I have come to terms with the fact that it's not going to change her Dx from me being upset. All I can do is hope she doesn't follow her Mothers path and be gone in 9 months as my grandmother did after her diagnosis.

My ultrasound to see a heartbeat and if one or both embies stuck is in a week. I'm hoping next week flies by so we can hurry up and get to it. I don't feel pregnant as I never did with my kids, but this is much different. It wasn't IVF, so I knew they were sticking around. No bleeding or cramping going on, just no further symptoms. All I feel is a little more hungry, got these twinges still, a little more gas and some heartburn. No biggy.

Oh well. Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Final two betas....

So, I know I haven't posted since Friday after the first beta, but I didn't (and still don't) feel like writing a huge blog. The past couple days have brought on some nausea, not bad, but enough to make me not want to do squat.

Anyway...here is the final tally on the betas for this journey-
9dp5dt- 191

(for those who don't know the abbreviations- 9 days past 5 day transfer and so on with the # change)

Those are excellent numbers and doubling like they are supposed to, 48-72 hours.

So my ultrasound is Aug. 8th sometime in the afternoon.

I will update that day or the next depending on how late we are in Tampa and all that.

Thanks for reading!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Beta, Oh rotten beta...

Well, I posted on the surro site and on FB, but I must do it here too, so I can continue to chronicle this journey and look back on this blog when it's all over and say, whatever it is I will say when that time comes...

My las 2 journies, I never got a positive pee stick, so I knew beta was negative. My pee sticks are still darkening by the day, so I knew this was, good, but I didn't think I was going to get lucky enough to get a good strong beta. I thought I'd wind up with 55 or something. The NC said anything above 5 is considered positive, but anything over 50 is better. My beta came back at 191. Now, this is really good news to me considering it's not ZERO. LOL

However, we read into these beta's and look for signs of how many babies are in there with no luck as there are so many differences in how we produce this hormone. So, we get a few beta's and hope they double to show a viable pregnancy and then wait for an ultrasound to see how many are baking in there.

IVF is a roller coaster ride for everyone involved. Once you're over one hurdle, the next is staring you in the face. You get the Doctor, the Medical Screening, The Meds, The Transfer, The 2WW for a positive pregnancy test/beta and then you wait for two more betas to rise correctly and then you wait for ultrasound for heart beat, then next ultrasound to make sure everything is still ok, and on and on and on. It's like I will never fully relax until I pass the 24 week mark where a baby is viable.

Anyway, that's all my rambling for the day on the surrogacy front. Tomorrow is my birthday and I have every intention of relaxing and enjoying turning 30.

Until Monday when I have my next beta....

Thanks for Reading!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Seeing the word- Pregnant.

So, Thomas wanted to see the word pregnant. We went to wal-mart and got a 2 pack, just in case my hcg wasn't high enough to show it today. Well, I took it this afternoon, and low and behold, there it is.
I've been reading the HCG has to be at a level of 50mIU/mL of the hormone. All the information you want to know on home pregnancy tests can be found here.
Some other surros have taken a pregnancy test the day of beta and checked out dark the test line (the other line that shows up on every test pregnant or not is the control line) in accordance with their beta number. For those who don't know what a "beta" test is- The hormone you pee out that makes the stick tell you that you're pregnant is HCG or  human chorionic gonadotropin . It is also secreted in the blood and that is the beta level, is the amount of hCG in a womans system when we get a positive pregnancy test. For IVF patients, such as myself and other women, a beta blood test is pretty routine regardless if you get a positive pregnancy test before hand. My first beta blood test this cycle is Thursday, 7/21. Reproductive Endocrinologists (the nifty test tube Doctors performing miracles) get a 2nd and sometimes 3rd beta level after a positive first one to make sure they are rising correctly.

So, I probably will not post another blog until after my beta comes in Thursday. It's Sunday and I'm still in shock of being pregnant after this year long struggle, and honestly I've already given in to the extreme tiredness. Just last week I was taking an hour to fall asleep and now as soon as I hit the pillow I'm out. It's an exhausting, fun, & rewarding ride.

Thanks for reading...

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I'm itching to tell...

I don't know how many of you know that this is my 3rd go round at IVF and my 3rd set of Intended Parents, but now you do. I started the initial process of getting matched and tested in June 2010. So, we are just over a year from my first contact with an agency, and I am finally, finally pregnant. It's taken 3 transfers and a year of time to get where I am.
I had transfer 7/11, you can see that blog post here.
Anyway, I had a few tests last night so faint you had to tilt and squint to see, but at 12:30 this afternoon, I got a line you can see without any squinting or tilting. I am ecstatic and my IP's just happen to be coming over, and I text IM and let her know I had a surprise for her. I'm sure she knows what it is, but at least she has hope now, since her last surro screwed her so badly.

If you have "surro" eyes you can see this, or if you know what you're looking for, this should pop right out at you. My camera stinks, so the pic stinks, but it is defintely positive!

To be honest, I feel incredible as I thought I would, since I did with my other two pregnancies as well. The only complaint I have at the moment is I am not wanting to see anything chocolate, which I normally love.
Oh well, that's the price you pay!!
I'm very excited I get to tell L & T they are going to be parents again. I just hope the line continues to darken as the days go by. My beta's are scheduled for the 21st, 25th and 27th. So damn exciting. Oh, and I will be 30 next Saturday the 23rd, so I am defintely going to my favorite resturant, just incase I wind up with morning sickness.
I am on cloud nine!! Ahh! *Big Grin*

Thanks for reading!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Transfer went great!!

So....the flight to Ft. Lauderdale/Miami wasn't too bad, it was packed since Mondays are a busy travel day and all, and it's an inexpensive airline to begin with. Anyway, my daughter and I got there safe and sound. It was an early flight, so we didn't eat breakfast, we wound up having brunch around 11 a.m. at a local diner near my IP's home and it was soooo good!! After that we went to their (gorgeous) house and unpacked and relaxed for about an hour before my IM and I left for South Miami Clinic, a 45 minute drive in normal traffic down there, which turned into an hour drive because of an accident. On the way there we talked and talked and I drank 2 bottles of water and man I felt like I was going to burst. I swear the worst part about a transfer is having a full bladder, I mean FULL to the hilt. I metabloize (and I'm sure we all do) water VERY quickly and I had to relieve myself to almost empty before transfer. 20 minutes later up in stirrups she put the u/s wand on my belly and my bladder was FULL again. Anyway, she had 3 frozen embies left and two were excellent and the third didn't expand during the thaw, so it was discarded. The two that were put in were fantastic and one was hatching, the other hatched with over 200 cells each. This is the first transfer of the three I've had where I actually saw the eggs land in my uterus via ultrasound. The last two transfers, the Doctor waved the wand over me to see my bladder was full and peek at my uterus and then the machine went off during the transfer. So, this one was totally different in that there was no PGD, they were hatched/ing and I saw them fall from the straw into me. I asked the chance of a pregnancy occuring and she said she would be shocked if I didn't wind up with twins, but she was positive one would stick. I hope only one sticks and so does my IM, but she said god only gives people what they can handle, so she'll take whatever she gets. Now, just before transfer, my husband, Thomas text me that he got employee of the month at work and a $150 bonus check. Hellz yeah! But it didn't stop there. After transfer he bought a scratch off lotto ticket and won $100 on it!!! What?! So, that told me that since we had some good luck that day, it must be fate! Anyway transfer went great and I will probably start POAS Saturday. My IP's are coming to visit me Saturday since they have to drive here to do a video interview for our agency. My plan is to pee that morning and hopefully have a BFP, but I plan to do it again after they get here, hopefully I can walk out of the bathroom with a double lined test for them!!

Another nice thing is I got to taste a Cuban dish since my IM is cuban. Can I just say, YUM! Both my IP's took wonderful care and were extremely hospitable to my daughter and I the entire time. On Wednesday morning (my last full day there) IM and I sat and had a 2 hour conversation in her kitchen about nearly everything, including the last surrogate she had who basically dooped her. My IP's do have a child together, and my IM has children from her first marriage, but can't carry now due to Hypertension. The child they have is from her first surrogate, the same clinic got her pregnant the first try. Everything went beautifully with that one. Then they tried again and the surrogate lost their baby at 4 months gestation. It's very personal what happened, but it was not anything to do with my IP's embryo's, they had the fetus tested. That surrogate also got pregnant the first time. 1st surro had 3 embies transferred to her, 2nd surro had 2 transferred. So, I am hopeful this the time it will happen for us. *fingers crossed*

Anyway, I am exhausted as I didn't sleep much while I was there. I never sleep well unless I am home in my bed. I will say, the hormones really haven't gotten to me much this cycle, until this morning. We had an extremely early flight home and I was up at 4 a.m. (after being in and out of sleep for about 4 hours, which is how I slept all three nights I was there) so add in tired beyond all get out, and when the plane touched down in Tampa at 8 a.m., I was freaking crying! Yes, crying. I've never been happier to be home. I missed my son and my husband, and though it's odd, my 2 dogs, baby raccoon, snakes and even the fat cat who lazes around my house.

Oh! I almost forgot! I got a call from my school on Wednesday to congratulate me on having a 3.75 GPA! It's one of the highest in the school and they are so happy I am doing well. Nine "A's" and four "B's" so far, with four classes left before graduation...I'm thinking I will be shooting for that 4.0 if I can do it!!

So anyway, I think I'm done rambling. I wanted to add in a few pictures of the trip....nothing much. Thanks for reading!!

                                          This is this morning's flight...ahh...sunrise from an airplane!
The next one is the sunrise on the Sunshine Skyway bridge from Bradenton to St. Pete.

Next is my DD, first time on a plane, headed to Ft. Lauderdale!

And finally, this is the cuban dish. No idea what it's called. It has white rice, boiled potates, tomatoe sauce and cubed beef w/ some spices. Also half a fried plantain. Yum!

I'll probably post Saturday or Sunday and let everyone know my BFP or BFN status as of then. :)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Yup, it moved up...

I got an e-mail from my coordinator yesterday morning changing the transfer from Tuesday the 12th to Monday the 11th, so everything has to start a day early! It's nice though, all travel arrangements have been made and Evey and I are all packed already actually. We have to be at the airport at 5:30 a.m. Monday morning for our flight that leaves at 7 a.m.

I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I feel like this is the time it's actually going to work. This clinic is HIGHLY recognized as a very successful clinic with high pregnancy rates via IVF.

I started my PIO shots yesterday morning and ouchie. Big ouchie. I don't remember them being this painful, but I'll live. I've got some friends with words of encouragment and the voices of experience helping me through. Honestly, I am so thankful for AAS. I would be lost without it.

Anyway, aside from aggravation at home with my dd being a little glove theif at the hospital and my lazy ass aunt not wanting to help my Mom out in any way, I'm good. Excited. Nervous. Bitchy, LOL Thank you estrogen!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

What a day!

*NOTE: Mostly Non-Surrogacy Related Post*

So, today has been a mixed emotion day.
I wasn't going to blog again until after transfer, but I feel that I need to get a few things out.
Saturday morning, I woke up to blood in my bed. Talk about freaking out. I'm not pregnant, nor have I transferred yet, but I am supposed to in a week. I thought my lining was shedding and I about had a melt down at first. So, then I passed a clot, which made it worse. Finally a few friends and my dh got me to call the emergency # for the clinic and my RE called me back pretty quickly. She said bleeding at this stage is usually linked to high estrogen levels, so she knocked my dose down from 4 mg a day to 2 mg a day. It's Tuesday and I'm still bleeding lightly. But this morning, I went in for an ultrasound and my lining is a shining 10.7 mm. For those of you who don't know, 7-9 mm is where most RE's want a lining to be for a transfer. So mine is nice and fluffy :) The place I get my b/w done closed early today so I don't have my E2 levels back yet.

Aside from that, which was the good part of today, the damn Casey Anthony trial verdict came back today and I have been fighting people left and right. And it's not even about the verdict itself, but the insults swinging from having different opinions on it. One person I don't know even said all Floridians heads have been fried by the sun, that's why we make such bad decisions. Excuse me?!? Who the hell are YOU? This girl lives in Iowa. Well, let me get to the stereo-typing you just did....I could have called her a few choice words, but that's not me and I don't believe that. My Dad is from Iowa and I've lived there. I know how it is. I also asked her if she wanted to insult Californians while she was on a roll. Why, you ask? Because they aquitted O.J. Simpson who murdered TWO people and they had DNA evidence and he was aquitted. At least with Casey Anthony there was no DNA. Whatever. If you're going to stereo-type people be prepared. I hate it when people do that. A surrogate get's stereo-typed as money hungry or some other name I choose not to say for "giving up her baby", even though it's never OUR baby to "give up" to it's rightful parents.
Some people are just too damn stupid for their own good I swear....

Ok, vent over!

Hope everyone had a happy 4th of July. Ours was like a normal day and we watched fireworks in the neighborhood since our neighbors had some nice ones. It was a nice cool night too. Perfect for fireworks.

We also adopted a cutie yesterday, an abandoned (by his momma) baby raccoon. Meet Rascal!

    He's so sweet and cute! My dh has had one or two before and knows a lot about them and we did TONS of research (including making sure it was legal to have him in Florida, it is! whew!) and found out things dh didn't know before. But he is like a newborn. He sleeps, cries when he's hungry and gets fed with a bottle and poops and pee's. No diapers though. He's very sweet and has one eye open and working on the other.

Anyway, I think I've gotten everything out of my system for now. I may blog again before transfer, but no promises. We'll see.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

12 days to go...

Well, to me the countdown is on, though most people start the countdown at 10 days until the event, right?

Meh, either way, it's on for me. 12 days until transfer. That means after my final baseline on the 5th of July, I will be getting my orders for PIO injections. Yay! (Not)
I've had a serious issue with the estrogen pills. They wanted me inserting them in my whoo-ha twice a day and taking them orally twice a day, which I found out is because of my allergy to the patches. But, I have been having issues constantly since "inserting" the pills. So I finally had enough and e-mailed my NC and the RE told me just to take two pills two times a day orally, which I wish they would have just done that to begin with. Geesh. That's nice though- no patches, no suppositories. This so far, minus the "issues" has been the most comfortable med protocol I've had yet. None of them are really comfortable, hopping up your body on ginormous amounts of female hormones to thicken up and be ready for a baby. You guys think we are hormonal as normal women...lol try being with a woman taking this stuff. My poor husband! He's a trooper though.
Speaking of him, next week we get to spend the whole week together since he's on vacation from work. I'm super excited about that b/c he's going to go back the day I leave to go to Miami for transfer. I'd better have fun while I can!
Anyway, I probably won't update until after transfer since it's tough to do so right now, so hopefully upon my next ramble, I will be "with" my IP's Child. (LOL)
Later guys!

Thursday, June 23, 2011


I swear this medicine is the worst part of these cycles. My emotions go haywire and I am so overly sensitive to literally-everything.
Now my Mom and I are fighting like crazy over lotion....yes, lotion. I basically wait on her hand and foot all day, as a non-paid CNA helping her in the bathroom, making all her meals, drinks, changing wound dressings, changing her clothes, dispensing medications, including insulin, checking her sugar, her blood pressure etc. Not only that, but I cook for 6 people and clean after 6 people and 3 dogs and a cat DAILY, again without pay. We actually pay half of all the bills here and I am caring for my Mom daily. I don't stop until she goes to bed. Let's not forget I have a husband with needs of my attention and 2 children who need my attention. I am getting royally treated like shit by my Mom for not lotioning her legs. I told her to remind me since I have 2000 other things to do in a day for her and everyone else. Her remark is that she shouldn't have to remind me. Am I supposed to be freaking super woman? I have 2 arms and 2 legs like everyone else. I do everyone's laundry, cook and clean on top everything I do for her and the time I need to be spending with my kids. This is so frustrating that she has got me in tears. Part of that issue is the damn estrogen. I get really moody and VERY easily pissed off and she has pushed every possible button she can with me today. I'm done with it. I'm hiding in my room so as to avoid yelling at her, yet again for calling me names over lotion. Ugh. Stupid estrogen.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Ready, Contract, Meds!

So, this has been a rather interesting ride so far....I got my contract finalized yesterday and my IP's accepted all the changes, except one, which we worked out. If I talk about it, I will never hear the end of it from certain people, so I am not going to mention it. Otherwise, I started my Lupron this morning, which luckily I don't have to take for too long.

My Mom came home and it's going to take time to get used to her being home and us living and doing things differently. But I a just thankful she is here.

We are celebrating my oldest's birthday tomorrow, though she's not actually 10 until Monday and I am so excited. I got her a couple things she's going to love. I can't wait to see her face light up.

Anyway, things are looking better as far my health. I had a sore throat, and sneezing issue for a few days and then it turned into sore throat, horribly sore throat and coughing not stop. I went to the Doctor after a week of it hurting me and found out I am one step from Pneumonia, that I do have bronchitis. I got some cough syrup and 875 mg pills of amoxicillian. Horse pills, yucky. Anyway, that's all for now. I will probably post pics tomorrow night/Saturday morning of my dd's b-day party.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Off we go...

So, my appointment and flights and time with my IP's went wonderfully! They did draw blood and yesterday the results came in. I am still cootie free (LOL), However, As Dr. P pointed out, I am not immune to Chicken Pox. I showed my Dad the form I had to sign and he flipped. I've had the vaccine AND the chicken pox themselves 25 years ago. He doesn't understand why I am not immune. Beats me!

Anyway, I get my meds tomorrow, start them the 9th of June. Contracts will be early in the week before meds and off we go. Transfer is July 12th.

So excited!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

May Day, the 27th

So after 2 weeks of dilly dallying I finally have my appointment in Miami on Friday at 11:45. The plan is to have my IM pick me up at the airport and drive me to my appointment and be there with me. I'm super excited. After the clearance, we get the contract, then med start and I'm off. We have 3 frozen 3 day embryo's to thaw and transfer. I hope they all survive the thaw and can be transferred.

Guess I'll update when that time comes!

Saturday, May 14, 2011


Normally, I would not be happy about her rearing her ugly head on me, but at this time, I am super excited she showed. Being on BCP's, my period likes to come as it pleases. Well it needed to show soon, so I can get to the clinic in Miami, get going on meds and get this surrogacy on the road, so I can cross it off my bucket list. It's almost here!!!

About the bucket list, here are a few items and my progress-

1. Carry a baby for another couple. (surrogate)
2. Finish college (5 months to go!!)
3. Go to Disney World. (Yes, I've been a Florida resident most of my life and never been there.)
4. See my Children get married.
5. Become a Grandmother.

There's more...but at this point, that's all I'm listing.

My Mom is doing better as she usually does, which I am thankful for. I can finally stop being so stressed out about everything and stop walking on proverbial egg shells.

Monday afternoon I should have my Miami appointment scheduled, and after I have the appointment and a calendar I will do more updating!

Oh, but first....my new baby....my (late) anniversary gift...

                                             Meet Gismo!! My newest baby. ♥♥♥

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Stellar Meetings

Well, Souad pulled a major hat trick this time. I met my now IP's at OAC this afternoon. They have the cutest daughter, swear. After an hour at OAC talking just my IP's and their lil cutie and I all went and had lunch and talked like we've known each other forever. Anyway to keep out of their personal lives, I will stay more on the medical/cycling side of surrogacy. They have 3 frozen embryos that have been there for four years. They had their first surro give birth to their little cutie now and a second surro got pregnant the first time, but miscarried. Now there are three left and they are going  into me, next month. I am anxiously awaiting AF and to start BCP on CD 3 and soon after I will be flying to Miami to go to the clinic to have them do what testing they need (if any) and get my med protocol. Then, depending on this clinics protocol, I should transfer, probably mid June. I am so freaking excited. And the RE is a WOMAN!!! Thank you god! But, if this doesn't work, then I will just work and save every penny I earn to have enough for my tubal reversal.

Anyway, I have to study my ass off right now for my test in Tampa tomorrow for my CMAA. Wish me luck!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

So, I know it's been a while...

 (Thank you ladies at SMG for the graphic)

There has been a lot of back and forth and this and that on the surrogacy front and I decided in the end I was not willing to work with Dr. Pabon, to which M & L were willing to switch RE's, they were ok with 2 embryos but they were not ok with not doing PGD, so I opted out. I was going to go with a couple with Angel Matchers and it seemed everything was perfect, but when I went to the appointment I found out they hadn't even been screened, that I'd have to do a mock cycle, then wait TWO months before the actual syncing of cycles with the IM and then start cycling again. I'm not up for medicating my body that much for one, and for two why wait for two freaking months and three IM was pushing to get this moving. I had no idea they hadn't been approved, or screened. Wouldn't it make sense for them to make sure they can do it before they worry about a surro??? Honestly! Plus they wanted to do the mock with no contract. No thanks. I feel bad for the IP's but I wasn't fully informed on everything.
I am going to meet with a set of IP's Tuesday with OAC and this couple has already used a surro once through OAC for their daughter, so this would be a sibling project using frozen eggs. It will be with a clinic in Miami, though not the first one I used with Ackerman. The thing about this is I don't need to sync up with anyone. After the meeting Tuesday I will get an appointment to go to Miami and get what little screening I need done since all my testing is only 2 months old, get a calendar and get the show on the road. All this is only if we match. Of course contracts will come after the testing in Miami. So...

Onward forward, my Mom has been in the hospital for a week. She was having issues, lots of them and since people I don't really know all that well read my blog, we'll just say it's bad. Yesterday was particularly bad as I went and saw my Mom and I believe she had a small stroke because she didn't know who I was. She can't talk, but she has eye movements. But it felt like my heart was being ripped out yesterday when she didn't know who I was. I went today and saw her and she knew who I was and can shake her head yes or no in acknowledgment, but still no talking. I read her, her mothers day card and we both started crying because it was very sentimental. She's always been my best friend and confidant. This is very tough for me and I am hoping that she recovers. But I did get a hug and that's enough to know she cares.

Today is also Mother's Day as well all know, so I'm gonna post what I got from my kiddo's and hubby. It also happens to my 2nd year anniversary with my husband, but we are going to have to celebrate that in 2 weeks once money is a litte better. (He got a big fat raise at work!)

The top is the front and inside of the card from my Daughter and the home made picture too :)

And the same from my son, front, inside and home made picture-

And lastly, my husband made me french toast, his first time ever making it, with a receipe I gave him LOL

Man was it good, but I got full quick so I only ate about half of it. Not bad!

Anyway, that's my little update for now. I will pay more attention to my blog once things settle down. Between my Mom, Dr. appointments, School, kids and everything else going on.

Monday, April 18, 2011

It's been a while...

Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything, and there is good reason. We recently moved and it turned out to be a disaster. The landlord promised us the place would be in livable condition when we moved in and we took his word on faith and gave him rent and deposit. We also gave him time, and when move in time came, nothing had been done. We lived in a house with no hot water, barely any water pressure, bugs (I mean ants, roaches, spiders and gnats), open electrical outlets in the house (light switches and outlets), no a/c (only window units that barely blew cold air, mostly fan usage only). Several rooms had no electricity and the floor was falling through in many places. It was unsafe for all of us. Anyway, we moved out after two weeks since the landlord decided to not answer his phone or take care of the problems. What a mess. It just so happens my Aunt, who was caring for my Mom, got a job and I was over there caring for her everyday anyway, so my Dad appraoched us with moving in with them so I could care for my Mom and help them with their bills and move my Aunt in with my Sister blah blah. So, that move took place over this weekend and it's Monday. I am still exhausted from moving twice in two weeks. Thank god I'm not pregnant right now! Exhaustion sucks!

So, now on the pregnancy/surro front...The agency called me and M & L want to put in three embryo's and  reduce down if they all take. I am not happy about that situation, but I'm willing to work with them.
Anyway, I suppose that's all for now, but I will updated in a couple weeks.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Something always on my mind...

Well, it's Sunday, April 3rd. We are all moved in and just had our 2nd night in our new place. Let me tell you, this is heaven. This house is being remodeled, so it is by no means "perfect", but it works just fine for us. I woke up this morning to birds chirping and puppy kisses. I couldn't have a puppy at the last place and I couldn't hear the birds over the machine rental store right next to the apartment. It's so blissfully quiet here. Also, we got a sweet gift from one of our neighbors yesterday, which baffles me, but is so nice.

So sweet! The neighborhood I am in is mostly elderly and the next block over has kids. It's so nice!

The HCG diet was put on hold...I'm going to start over in the next couple days. Moving and not having any way to cook or maintain the diet has kept me from doing it, but now that we are moved in and unpacked, I can do it properly. The good news is, what I did lose in the few days I was on it, is still gone =)

Then there is one more issue...I am seriously thinking/considering something...I don't want to put it in my blog just yet, but once I've made a decision, I will post. A few things may be changing on the surrogacy front.

Anyway, that's all for now. Time to take my puppy to the doggy park and finish unpacking. Thanks for reading!!