About Me

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Jacksonville, Florida, United States
I am a smart mouthed, tell it like it is southern chick. I love and hurt like everyone else. Take me as I am or get on outta here! I have two wonderful children, One large man child husband, and two furbabies. I'm existing, hopefully soon to be living once the brain tumor I have is removed. Anything you want to know, e-mail me!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Morning sickness and bleeding...

So, the lovely ladies on my surrogacy board have once again been a WONDERFUL source of support throughout this scary time I'm having so far with this pregnancy. I am hoping the bleeding so early on is not a precursor to the rest of my pregnancy.

On that note, I've had three bleeding episodes. All minor in nature, not anything really to write home about, slight bleeding, a clot and then nothing. The episodes last for roughly 8-12 hours at a time. I'm kind of tired of being freaked out about the whole thing, I hope they just stop...it would be nice to have one less worry. I always e-mail my Nurse Coordinator and it's usually the same thing...two extra capsules vaginally and bed rest. This last time there was a little cramping involved and I was put on 48 hours bed rest. Needless to say that sucks horribly. I have a hard time with it.

A few other pregnancy symptoms have popped up...excessive (nearly hourly) runs to the toilet to pee. I mean PEE. A lot. Geesh. Then today, this evening, the "morning sickness" I was hoping to avoid, reared upon me. I've not yet relived my dinner, but it sure feels like I'm gonna. Ick. Also, gas. My husband swears I could fuel a rocket ship to the moon, and he's pretty vocal about his belief. I've also picked up some wicked heartburn. That is never fun.

Other than that, I'm just peachy keen. We've got a couple of good things going on in our personal life right now that I am really hoping work out. My Mom decided to go against the cancer treatment and live out her days happy and only doing what's necessary to stay alive in the moment, which is dialysis. I was upset at first, but she's been suffering with pain and bodily function problems for so long that she is just miserable and ready to go. None of us are going to aid her in her going, but we've decided to let her make her own decisions and when the time comes, she will go peacefully and regret free. That's all we can hope for, and we do, sincerely hope that she will be happier and at peace in her final resting place. It's taken me a few days to come to grips with this as I've always been close to my mom, but she is not really my mom 95% of the time. She's either talking about how she wants to die or she is drugged up on painkillers and downers to relieve the pain and anxiety she suffers with. I just want her happy, and if that means letting go, then I will. I already have a song in mind to listen to and play the day of her funeral. In fact, get tissues and listen to it..I will post it below.

Thanks for watching (if you did). If you cried, I'm sorry. But, I'm sure you can imagine why this would be the song I chose...

Thanks for reading...