About Me

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Jacksonville, Florida, United States
I am a smart mouthed, tell it like it is southern chick. I love and hurt like everyone else. Take me as I am or get on outta here! I have two wonderful children, One large man child husband, and two furbabies. I'm existing, hopefully soon to be living once the brain tumor I have is removed. Anything you want to know, e-mail me!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Non Surrogacy Related- Thinking this morning...

I get up every morning around 5:20-ish to take my husband to work and after I drop him off, I turn up the radio to keep me awake on my drive home. Usually it's the same songs in the morning, but I'm guessing the radio station decided to change things up this morning. I heard the song below and just started crying. Now, like most songs on country music stations, I know damn near the entire song (this one I do know all of) so it wasn't a shocking song, but of the million times I've heard it, today it made me cry...

                                          You're gonna miss this- Trace Adkins

In light of the fact that my daughter is in 5th grade this is a big deal to me. I know a lot of you are like "so, it's only 5th grade?" but to me, it's like I gave birth to her yesterday. She's still a newborn in her car seat on the way home from the hospital. This song takes me back to my child hood...I lost a lot of my child hood to my parents being sick off an on and working all the time...life has no been easy. I had to be a grown up at 16 and teach myself to cook and take care of my parents and siblings. I do miss being a kid...no worries other than not wanting to go to bed or if I had my homework done...was I going to miss my t.v. show? Those types of things are the things we hate as kids, but as adults we want those to be our only problems again. As adults we have mortgages/rent, water/electric, food, car payments, insurance etc. The biggest thing is stress. Our children are our blessings in every possible way, even if they are the inducers of the stress at times.

Another thing that plagues me when I see this video, and this has to be the hardest of all, is my kids biological father. Any father that never sees his kids and doesn't seem to care, for that matter. How can they do that? How can they just go on their merry way without a thought or care? I'm not saying my kids bio-dad doesn't care, he doesn't show it very well if he does, it's just being so far away and never calling to see how they are and only speaking to them via facebook chat is not very "fatherly" to me. How can he stand the thought that he is going to miss all these precious moments in their lives?

I don't get it, I don't know.