About Me

My photo
Jacksonville, Florida, United States
I am a smart mouthed, tell it like it is southern chick. I love and hurt like everyone else. Take me as I am or get on outta here! I have two wonderful children, One large man child husband, and two furbabies. I'm existing, hopefully soon to be living once the brain tumor I have is removed. Anything you want to know, e-mail me!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The End..

In continuance of the last blog, we took mom off life support and the dopamine that was holding her blood pressure up on Thursday evening at 8:35. She stayed stable throughout the night and they moved her to a private room on a different wing. When we saw her the next day, she was squinting and grabbing at the right side of her chest and was yellow. Just horribly jaundiced. Her liver was claerly shutting down. Anyway, around 3 p.m. she was transported to a hospice home close to our houses and we went and said good bye to her, again. Everyone left around 6 p.m. and did other things to occupy our time. I have been so grief stricken I had my PCP, who also treated my Mother, call me in something for anxiety. Thank god for that, or I never would have went to sleep.

My sister came in at 6 a.m. this morning as the hospice home couldn't get ahold of Dad, so they called her and she told me mom had just passed. It's a blow to the mind to hear you no longer have a mother. So, she died at 5:50 a.m. on September 3rd, 2011. We don't know why or how she held on so long after coming off of life support. My thoughts are simply that she wanted that constant morphine a few times before she let go. That's how she always was, in pain needing medications.

We always thought that since she had defied medical science time and time again for 10 years that maybe this was another one of those times. Well, it wasn't. God called for her and now she is with him, and her older brother and mother who've been waiting for her up there.

I'm not gonna lie and say this is easy, as I've been crying for days and days, and still this morning and as I type this. We've decided to have her autopsied to cover every base for when we go after that dialysis clinic.

This is the hardest thing I hope I ever have to endure in my life. Losing a parent is not easy. My poor Father...they would be celebrating their 31st wedding anniversary in Dec.

How is Thanksgiving going to work? Christmas? Without my mom...my best friend.